At the Still Point
by Person4
Summary: After two years, Yuna finally learns to let go.


**At the Still Point**  
  
Nothing here belongs to me. I'm just playing for awhile.  
  
* * *  
  
"E muja ran."  
  
Yuna stumbled backwards, falling awkwardly down onto the bed she'd just been sleeping in when her legs bumped against it. She realised that her breathing was harsh and heavy and clamped her hands down over her mouth, hoping that they couldn't hear it below.  
  
"_E muja ran_." He'd said it so softly that she'd almost been unable to hear him, and now she wished to any god that might listen, up to and including Yu Yevon, that she hadn't strained her ears well enough to catch the words. Her Al Bhed wasn't the best, but she knew enough to know what he'd said. Even if she had been unable to understand the actual words, context alone would have let her realise what he was saying; 'I love her.'  
  
This wasn't right. He was supposed to just have a crush on her. A crush she could easily ignore, knowing that it would fade away as soon as some other, more attainable, girl caught his eye. One who wasn't clinging to a ghost. The emotions in his voice when he talked about her weren't supposed to echo those that had been in her own two years previously, when she'd told Tidus she loved him for the first and only time as he faded away behind her.  
  
Her eyes flew open and she pushed herself back onto her feet, deciding for the moment that anger was easier at the moment then thinking through what she should do with this new knowledge. She walked to the loft's banister and glared down at Barkeep and Calli, fingers curled tightly enough around the railing to turn her knuckles white. "How could you do that?" she hissed down at them.  
  
Calli silently avoided looking at her, body language screaming guilt. Barkeep, on the other hand, pulled himself away from Precious and looked up at her with the same blankly unemotive look hypello always seemed to have to humans. "Do what Mish Yoona?"  
  
"You both knew I was up here! Even if you thought I was asleep, you must have seen me when I got up! Why didn't you tell him?"  
  
"Why didn't you?" Calli asked quietly, still not meeting Yuna's eyes. "You could have, I don't know, coughed or banged your feet against the ground or said hello to let him know you were there when you realised he was talking about something personal. You could have buried your head under a pillow up there so you couldn't hear. You didn't have to listen."  
  
"Well you... you..." Her grip on the railing slipped and she fell forward to lean heavily against it. "You're right. I shouldn't have listened. But that still doesn't tell me why you let me."  
  
"We're shorry Mish Yoona, but we shought it wash for the besht."  
  
"We didn't realise until we saw how broken he was when you disappeared how important it was for you to know about this, Yuna. He really loves you, and we think that it's cruel of you to completely ignore that just because it's easier for you. I know you don't mean to be Yuna, but by ignoring what I know you think is just a crush you're letting his hopes keep building up, and it hurts him more every time you do something to dash them."  
  
"If yoo do not acknowledge hish feelingsh and let him down shoon, thish could drive a wedge between yoo forevers. We know yoo do not want shat, yesh?"  
  
Yuna turned her glare to Precious, though by now there wasn't much power behind it. She felt like the anger had been drained right out of her by their obvious concern, and the fact that it was quite possible that they were right. "What about you? Everyone else here seems to have something to say."  
  
Precious shrugged, and gave Yuna what she assumed, judging by the tone of her voice, was the hypello version of a confused look. "We've never even been introduced Lady Yoona, what would I have to shay?"  
  
Yuna sighed, then straightened up and jumped off the loft. She didn't look back at the others as she moved to leave, but in front of the door she stopped and said, "I'll think about it, alright? But, I can't deal with this now. Not with Vegnagun to take care of, and Shuyin and Lenne. When we're done with that, then... we'll see." She touched the pad which opened the door, ignoring Calli trying to say something behind her, and stepped into the hall, then realised that leaving so soon was a bad idea, as Brother was leaning against the wall in the corridor outside, staring broodingly at the floor.  
  
He started, pushing himself away from the wall and staring at her, eyes wide, as the door slid shut behind her. "Yuna! Did you-- I did not realise you were in there." He began fidgeting nervously, not taking his eyes off her.  
  
She realised that, despite her desire to put off confrontation, she would probably never get an easier moment to talk to him about his feelings. All she had to do was let him know she'd heard him, then take it for there. At the same time she found that she just couldn't do that, not when she knew that saying the wrong thing could drive him out of her life forever. So instead she plastered the familiar fake smile that she'd worn so often during her pilgrimage onto her face, and said, "Oh, Brother! Was that you?" His nervousness notably increased as she continued, "I was catching up on sleep, but woke up when I heard someone leaving."   
  
"Oh! Oooh." Brother laughed, and Yuna wondered if he realised just how relieved he sounded. Even if she really hadn't heard what he'd said, the way he was acting now would have made her realise that he'd been doing something he wanted to keep from her. Then the rush of relief seemed to leave him, and he started to look a little regretful, "So, I disturbed your rest. I am sorry for waking you Yuna, I know you've not had much sleep recently."   
  
"No, it's fine. I shouldn't have been sleeping anyway, not when there's so much we need to do! There's plenty of time to rest after we come back from the farplane." Then she laughed, remembering why she'd gone to bed to begin with. "Actually, it's Rikku's fault that I was there to begin with. She dragged me down here, then refused to let me past her until I'd lain down for awhile. I must have drifted off then." She began walking down the hall to the elevator, Brother quickly falling into step beside her.   
  
"I have to agree with Rikku about this, Yuna. You press yourself too hard, and sleep too little. Ed'c ihraymdro."   
  
Yuna frowned, thinking, but this was beyond her meager translation abilities. "It's... what?"   
  
Brother blushed and bowed his head. She wished she hadn't said anything, rather then embarrass him. "Ah, it's not good for you. I am sorry, I should be more careful with my speaking."   
  
"Don't apologise for that! Really, if you can learn Spiran to talk to me, I should have learned enough Al Bhed by now to talk to you in it." They had reached the elevator and stepped in. Yuna pushed the button to go to the bridge, then leaned against the wall, eyes distant and a small frown on her face. "I used to be able to you know. Before my mother died." She laughed a little, sadly. "I remember when I first started school I had so much trouble, because at home I was used to everyone constantly switching languages when ever they felt like it, and didn't realise that everyone didn't talk that way. Then when my mother died I pretty much became a ward of the church, because my father was too busy with his summoner training to raise me. They punished me every time I slipped into Al Bhed of course, you know how _they_ were. Then, when I went to Besaid, I was warned not to let people know I was only half-human, because they wouldn't 'accept me' the way people who'd known my mother did." Her lips twisted into a shape that was half smile, half grimace. "I didn't even realise I'd forgotten how to speak Al Bhed until..." She thought for a minute, then laughed a little more sincerely then the last time, smile growing a little more real, and lightly shoved Brother, "Until your blitzball team kidnapped me, and almost gave my friends heart attacks! Poor Wakka, that was the first time he thought he had a chance of winning the Tournament, and then they demanded he lose!"   
  
Brother had overexaggeratedly stumbled back at her shove, and raised his hands in mock-protest, laughing a little himself. "Do not blame me! _I_ was working on excavating the airship then." Then after thinking a moment, her added, "Besides, the Aurochs won that year despite that."   
  
"So you're saying you _wouldn't_ have helped them if you were there?" she asked, raising and eyebrow. Just then the door slid open, and she stepped out into the bridge hall. As she started to walk down it, however, Brother suddenly grabbed her arm, stopping her where she stood. She turned back to him, curious about what he was doing.   
  
"Yuna," he said quietly, voice much more serious then it had been a moment before. "I know it doesn't mean much, but I think maybe you would like to know that I knew your mother. I was very small when she left Home to marry your father, but I still remember her a little. I remember that she was very kind, and I know that I missed her a great deal when she disappeared. I am glad that she wanted you to know about your Al Bhed culture, even though it would have been easier if she'd just raised you as a normal Yevonite, and it was wrong of them to take that from you."   
  
She smiled at him. "I know, and I shouldn't have let them do that. And... thank you. It means a great deal to me, knowing that someone else remembers her like I do."   
  
He blushed faintly at her smile, then said in a rush, as though it was taking a great deal of courage for him to speak and he wanted to get what he wanted to say out before it ran out, "If you wish, I could teach you to speak Al Bhed again. Once all this is over, I mean."   
  
Her smile grew brilliant, and she tried not to notice the way his eyes drank it in like it was the most wonderful thing he'd ever seen. "You'd do that? I've been doing my best to relearn bits and pieces here and there, but with all that's been going on I haven't had a chance to do more then that."   
  
"For you, Yuna, I would be happy to help! Soon, you shall be speaking our language as well as if you'd been raised in Home! I am sure that it will be easy for you, since it must be locked up somewhere in your memory. We just need to find it!" Then he seemed to suddenly remember the fact that his hand was still wrapped loosely around her arm, and pulled it away as if burned then, seeming to try and disguise this action, he bounded away to the bridge door, calling back to her, "Now, we get moving! The sooner we are done, the sooner you can start learning!"   
  
She followed him more slowly, watching through the open door as he leapt down to join the others with a thoughtful frown on her face. Their conversation had proven to her that she could do this, that even knowing what she now did she could continue having her normal friendship with him until things had calmed down and she had time to work out a good way to gently let him down.   
  
What she didn't yet realise was that somewhere, deep in her subconscious mind, she was beginning to wonder if letting him down was what she really wanted to do at all.  
  
* * *  
  
Notes: The fic starts during an easily missed scene in chapter five. If you sleep in the cabin in every chapter then after you wake up in chapter five Yuna will eavesdrop on Brother telling Barkeep about how much he loves her. IMO, this is the sweetest scene in the whole game, and in one fell swoop it both made Brother win me over forever, and made me decide that I'd much rather Yuna end up with him then Tidus.  
  
Here's the relevant text, for anyone who missed it (by which of course I mean I wanted an excuse to watch it again, and to have the text to it somewhere easily found *grins*).  
  
Brother: *sadly* What... what should I do?  
Barkeep: If yoo love her, tell her how you feel, yesh?  
Brother: No! I have said to much.  
Barkeep: Mish Yoona turns her back on you?  
Brother: *thoughtfully* Maybe it is better that way. I... I like Yuna's back.  
Barkeep: She has a nice backside.  
Brother: *first distracted, then seems to realise what was said* Yeah... _No!_ No, no!   
*explanatory, and thoughtful* These past two years, Yuna has always been looking ahead... into the distance. Always, her back is to me. I like _this_ Yuna. Even more then a Yuna that is facing me. *soft and sad* E muja ran (I love her).  
  
Then the game designers seem to decide they've been serious long enough and introduce Barkeep's Precious and Brother, upset that Barkeep's found love and he hasn't, storms off, and I begin wondering why the heck no one mentioned that Yuna's in the room with him while he was talking. Hence, the fic is born. 


End file.
